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Whatever, it's MY birthday, and you all are cool af. Boom, bam, magic wand waved. Idk you all seem to like that reward, so now it's permanent. We'll make it work on our end. I'm not near the computer today for obvious "getting drunk and eating burgers" reasons but wanted to push this through. Make sure to change your pledge to save $10.
I'll cap it at a few hundred for now to be safe, but will bump it up as I recover from my future hangover.
Transmission over.
Yes, we actually made this game to spite a man who's name is actually Rob, but you deserve to know what fueled the "hate creation of this game." Before the story, the first thing you need to know about Rob is twofold: 1. He's a raging narcisit and 2. He is the creator of a board game that nets $1M a year on Amazon. He's the type to talk for 45 minutes, and when he decides it's your turn to speak, he glues his face to twitter and gives you the occasional, "oh cool" or "really". This is the beginning of our story.
So we're all on an improv together in STL, and before the pandemic we would play/perform together at the local Improv Shop. When the pandemic hit, The Shop closed its doors, but our friendship could weather the seas of Zoom. In October, we planned a secluded trip to a Airbnb ranch in mountainous Tennessee. We all got COVID tested a week before and were ready to FINALLY see each other. But what awaited us was a fate far worse than COVID.
We pull up, unpack at sunset, and head straight to the campfire - wanting to soak that smokey smell into our skin for the whole trip. Unbeknowst to us at the time, HE was there, watching us from his barn outback, waiting for the perfect moment to infiltrate. It was his airbnb so we couldn't escape, we couldn't poke the hornets nest. We didn't know it, but we were hostages, and he'd keep us at that campfire until 4:00am (9 hours) and if you think I'm exaggerating, don't judge our claim until the end.
He strolled up to our campfire, wistful and confident. We're not averse to new experiences or new people, in fact most of us were hoping to meet him at some point. Some of his first words though were legendary as he sits shoulder to shoulder with us around the fire.
Rob: "You guys just get in?"
Us: "Ya we're doing a little getaway. None of us have had COVID yet and this place is super secluded."
Rob: "Ya COVID sucks, I just had it a few days ago."
As he sits inches from Nick and Emily, this man still had fresh little virus boys in his breath. We hated him then, and it was 35 seconds into our relationship, we had 28,000 seconds to go.
Right out the gate, he pulls some CLASSIC narcissist moves. Talking over people, story swapping, "That reminds of the time I did something a TINY bit related"-ing. The signs were there, and we were in trouble. Eventually, he started to tell his story, and like every good little narcist, it read like a f*cking script, like we were just the new audience for his one act play. The rhythm, the cadence, the pacing, the peaks and valleys of his story were well rehearsed and we at least appreciated the time it took in the mirror to hit the beats he needed to. Some highlights from his story:
Obviously, these are just the highlights, as we each suffered seperate strokes through our time with him so our memory is a bit fuzzy. The last few hours was a rambling of his political ideology which was as impressive and as coherent as his actual story. The setup up was the same for each arc - one hour of talking, pausing just long enough for one of us to say "oh that's cool", 5 min of us talking while he sat on his phone, repeat until 4:00am. Everything tied back to his board game. His board game. His board game. His board game. His board game. I'm exhausted having to replay it in my head.
Well we played the board game. We COMPLETED the board game. It the lowest effort, lowest fun level, appeals to the lowest common denominator of suburban divorced mom game night with teens sh*t, we've ever played.
Rage. Rage against God who would tempt us so terribly. We decided that night, that we would make a board game just to SPITE the man that told us it was too hard. The fact that we've succeeded is the first step, but the more we raise, the larger the middle finger is to that bastard. To spite him, to be able to live unburdened again, we had to make our game, and thanks to you, we can do that.
If you're reading this and haven't backed yet, we are now our brother/sister in arms. You sat around the same campfire, you heard the same stories, you know, he thinks he's better than you.
If you back us, you're spiting Rob too.
TLDR: Super narcissist crashed our night, proceeds to brag about his game, his life, his bedazzled jacket, and enrages us enough to make a better game.
Wow. Incredible. Absolutely mind boggling, you absolute madlads.
When we started this card game, we knew we could get it funded, but in 24 hours? This is insane.
We're going to be working our ass off to SMASH our funding goal.
Ambitious? Yes. Out of reach? No. We have plenty of gas in the tank and can make it happen.
Our campaign isn't going to have wacky challenges or a billion stretch goals. What we have is a great game and we think you'll think so too.
As appreciation for this SMASHING success, we're extending the SUPER EARLY BIRD // 'I Would F*ck Hitler Tier to 72 hours from 24.
Unfortunately, due to COVID, we can't be together so here's a pic of us headed to the IOWA caucuses.
We passed the 50% threshold! Now we have to do it all again!
"I Would F*ck Hitler" Super Early Bird Tier
As we prepare to hit 100% funded, we have introduced a 24 HOUR SUPER EARLY BIRD tier for "I Would F*ck Hitler". Save $10 if you back in the next 24 hours!
FAQ’s
Finally, the FAQ section is live, and we’ll continue to update them, in order to be as communicative with you as we possibly can during this process. Feel free to check there for a quick answer to some of our most asked questions.
As we march forward we'll provide more updates and news! That's all for now!