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Our Store Has Moved!

Created by Chris Portie

Hi! Our store has moved to: https://www.wouldyoukillhitler.com

Latest Updates from Our Project:

International Eyes Only - Nov 4 Deadline!
about 3 years ago – Sun, Oct 31, 2021 at 12:21:34 AM

This update is for International Backers ONLY!

Literally, nothing here applies to people in the USA. I will now distract all the Americans with a topical and hilarious Halloween joke.

 The Americans are either too busy crying or developing class consciousness, we have a few minutes to chat.
 

Expedited Shipping - International Only.

Want your game early? This is the last chance. Fill out this form to guarentee getting your game before Christmas.
It takes two seconds. November 4th is the deadline

FAQs

  •  Will I have to pay extra? Yes, click on the link, scroll to your country and you'll see the extra $ .
  •  Is this Mandatory to pay more? NO! Your games are in route no matter if you give us a DIME more. If you would like expedited shipping you will have to pay for it though since.
  •  What about admin fees? Will I get charged even more for importing the game? I have had... a lot of conversations this week regarding this and what people have assured me is, NO, you will not be surprised with fees when going to collect your game. This is because we've prepaid those fees for you (or at least, we will) - DDP is the term for it. I am so confident you won't have to pay more, that I will write a personal check to anyone who does incur fees for the full amount.
  •  Why are you offering a two class system of shipments? It's not fair that I have to pay more! To a certain extent, we agree. The ONLY reason we're offering it is because it was so dang cheap to go from ocean to air freight - it would cost ME like $20k more, but would cost YOU $2-10 more. The shipping we charged was for ocean freight rates, which is standard on most every Kickstarter ever. It just so happens this year, it's completely fucked and takes a lot longer. Air freight usually isn't needed OR affordable enough to offer, nut both those things are not true in this instance.
  •  Ok, what about if I don't do expedited? When would I get my game? I asked this to our fulfiment center and they refused to give me a specific range. It's been like this for months, as they don't want any of their clients coming back and being "wtf you said..."  However, when I posed it to them in a different way, they agreed that the following prediction would come to pass. Maybe December, probably January and definitely February. Do with that as you will.

 Please DM or comment any questions I did not address!
 

 ARE YOU CHANGING ADDRESSES?? (Again, international only...)

You have until Nov 4th to tell me where you're moving to! Remember that deadline I gave international folks a week ago? Well, I got like 10 address changes after the fact so my deadline didn't really work did it? Nov 4th is actually the cut off. Like, product starts leaving the warehouse, cut off. If you are unsure if you are moving in the next few months or even YOU KNOW you're moving but don't know where to,  Please do one of the following.

  • Change your address to a friend, family member or PO box you KNOW isn't moving.
  • Pay for expedited shipping to an address you will be at for the next month.

The only two things you need to do before Nov 4


Thanks everyone for the continued understanding. This is a balance of doing the right thing, knowing what these changes mean for you and me, and putting in the work to make this go as fast and smooth as possible!

You all are amazing!

Where the F is my Game V2 - The Ocean Boogaloo
about 3 years ago – Mon, Oct 25, 2021 at 10:53:27 PM

 Product has left the Manufacturer!

  • US based orders - ships left port Oct 11 and Oct 17 and should be arriving soon to the LA port.
  • International Orders - trucks left the warehouse Oct 20 and will arrive at the distribution center by Oct 25. 

 Here's a fun visual!

Do you want your game in 2 weeks? (International Only)

We've been working very closely with our international distribution center on circumnavigating timing and cost woes, and think we found a way to make it affordable to get games in your hand well in advance of Christmas. 

Friday they informed us that for ALL of the orders it would only be $2-15 more PER ORDER (seriously, no more than $15 for AIRFREIGHT, that's a steal)  to ship via airfreight depending on the country - meaning technically, you could have your games in 3-5 days from when the order is shipped out vs. waiting a few weeks (or months) of the product importing via ships. 

This is completely voluntary, and you would have to pay the increased cost, but we wanted to give you the option. There is a chance that international orders leaving via boat won't be ready to fulfill until January, but again, that's something that's largely unknowable.
 

 If interested in airfreight, fill out this form ASAP!
 

For us Americans, the cost would have been around $50 more per game. I thought I'd spare you the temptation since this IS just a $30 game.
 

Where are we REALLY at with timing? (US Orders)

As with most kickstarters, it's hard to know until products have made it IN the country and have gotten loaded ONTO a truck. We're still steadfast in believing Christmas is doable for most orders, but at this point we'll have to have about a medium amount of luck for early december and JUST SOME luck to get it there before Saint Nick's ass comes down the tree.
There are some bright spots to look forward to, like changes in Port hours, ease of some regulations and some mass hiring for truckers. There's even word about the national gaurd being deployed which would dope to see.
 

Thanks Again!

Again, great to check in! We've had AMAZING progress and strokes of luck these last few weeks and we really are in the HOME STRETCH.

As always, message me or comment below for any questions or concerns.

Chris
 

International Backers? Please Read! - Oct 15 Deadline
about 3 years ago – Thu, Sep 30, 2021 at 11:13:33 PM

Howdy Dear Backers!

Ok, enough pleasantries, we have sh*t to cover today

International Backers - October 15 is the last day to update your address. (2 weeks)

Updating Your Address - Addresses Lock October 15

  • You can access your Backerkit account here. From there, you can enter your email in the prompt and will recieve your survey where you can edit your address. Please try this first. 
  •  OR You can DM me via kickstarter or email, your new address and I will update it manually.

 By October 15, the address in the system will be where your games go.

 
FAQs and Comments 

  •  What if I don't know my new address / I may be moving over the next 2 months - We understand this is not ideal given the uncertainty of when product will arrive. For those with that uncertainty there are alternatives to having your games shipped to your home. If you have friends/family that you trust and you know aren't moving, that is a good option. Another option is if your country offers any options for your national courier service to hold your package - similar to a P.O. box in the U.S. We know this isn't ideal, but finding a semi permanent and safe place to send your package might be your best bet, if this istuation applies to you. If you can't find a place to send, please DM me and we can figure it out together.
    What the fricken' heck, are non-Americans going to get their games before me?? But I'm an American! - [Insert joke about impatient Americans] Noone is getting their game, faster or slower than any other country. We are working with 2 different fulfilment companies, one for the U.S. one for international backers - both have different styles and procedures. The U.S center doesn't need addresses until the games actually get here - so when I ask for final addresses you'll know your games are weeks away. The international company is based out of Hong Kong, so they need addresses earlier since the games will arrive in Hong Kong in a few weeks. Since almost every order has to go on a boat, everyone is subject to the expected delays of their own continent. Every order is processing at the same speed, so it's up to how clusterf*cked your own region's ports are.
    Please ask any other questions in the comments!
     

How is Production Going?

 It's going well! Games are fully printed and are being assembled and boxed as we speak. Here's a video our manufacturer provided!

Our manufacturer and logistics coordinator seem confident games will be ready to board ships by October 10. If anything changes, you all will be the first to know! No updates outside of what we discussed in update 27!

 
Ok well, anything else interesting? 

Ya thanks for asking! You guys want to see what we have planned for 2022 and 2023?

  •  We're kickstarting a new game! Details TBD super secret shhh! BUT, it's a collab with a super cool publisher! The gameplay is super cool, but we're still writing and designing! Kickstarter in March.
  •  SUPER MEGA BOX and CHRISTMAS BOX release - yep we're working towards offering a mega box to stuff your games in, and a special christmas box you'll be able to gift yourself or friends our new expansions. Gold/silver foli, UV coating and fake lather wrapping is all could be applied. Any ideas on design/finishing options you'd want to see?
  •  New Expansions and New Sized Expansion Decks - Here's our current lineup in order of how much I like them: "I Would Save Christmas" (Christmas), "I Would Redacted" (Conspiracy), "I Would Eat Ass" (Sex)," I Woul- OK Boomer" (Generational Warfares)," I Would Drop Out" (Schoo), "I Would Eat the Rich" (Revolution), I Would Consume Everything (Foodie shit, idk). Some of these will be 200, 100, and/or 50 card decks. Got a favorite? Got a suggestion?
  •  Enamel Pins! - Ya, we're gonna dip into enamel pins. So what? I love them and they're super cheap for you guys. We have some dope designs but PLEASE share any you can think of with the philosophers. For example, we'll have one with the text "Kill hitler" using a philosopher as a model, but doing the Hitman pose!

Wouldn't that look dope

  •  Apparel maybe?? - We're going to start with the most basic of apparrell and making some socks and underwear. Nothing else. Stop. No. All I want to make is good quality under wears.

Thank you all again for your (almost) unconditional support and patience. If I didn't cover anything or anything is confusing, please please please comment or DM me. 


In Spite,

Chris

Where the F is my game?? Shipping + Production Update
about 3 years ago – Wed, Sep 08, 2021 at 07:47:12 PM

This is an update on production & fulfillment. 

Just got done doing a back to back vacation / moving appartments! (Who TF doubles their tenants rent??)  Basically the best and worst experiences in life back to back. Thanks for being patient as I get back into the swing of things.  We’re on track  for production and will be wrapped up in the next few weeks. 7.8 MILLION cards printed, and 20,000 games made - our account lead at our manufacturer said production couldn't have gone smoother!! Big WIN!

Why is Your Kickstarter Late?

1. We're about a 3 weeks late due to finalizing stretch goal (expansion packs) - writing proofing and then 50% more in production time due to stretch goals. That's on us for running late... but that's the not the main drag on the timeline. The main problem is shipping.

More clarity on WHY shipping is so f*cked.

2. The problem is one of capacity. The worldwide freight market has been completely and utterly f*cked up beyond recognition. Literally unprecedented and affects board games, appliances, and every fricken thing coming from China.

A huge increase in demand for consumer goods during the pandemic has led to several bottlenecks in freight operations. There are not enough containers, and there are not enough containers *in the right place*. Too many things going both eastwards and westwards from China, not enough things going back.

As a result the freight costs, and more pertinently, *our* freight costs have increased more than 600% (and counting). This is now, at this moment, and it could even go higher as we approach the holiday season.

No backers will be asked to put in more money to receive their rewards.

While we understand publishers who have no other choice, we have already communicated that we do not intend to do that. 

We have been thinking and researching this for a few months now. We got quotes, re-quotes, talked to other publishers (Wing It, Dub This, Part Frued, etc)  to potentially share containers.  The main issue is one of time. As you can see in the sources listed at the end of this update, no matter how much we pay for the freight, it may still take an unprecedented amount of time for it to cross the seas to get to you, get unloaded, cleared through customs and then brought to the regional fulfillment center warehouses.

So, please know that we are working on gaining as much information as possible before we have to make a decision on this. We will consider all factors and we will try to compensate for potential disruptions. However, please understand that this is the one part of the process over which we have the least control. And given that it can not be solved with money - because we do not want to ask for more, and what more we pay will not have an effect on the time it takes to happen - it could be that it may only be solved with time.

That would mean that you would need to exhibit some restraint in calling for your game to be delivered, and be patient with us and our freight/fulfillment partners as we get the game to you. If, for whatever reason, you feel like you are not prepared to do that, please contact us via Kickstarter message.


Unfortunately, timing is hard to pin down, and it might get worse.

Until we have games on the boat, it's hard for us to give an estimate on timing. 

The level of uncertainty we are presented with is unprecedented, and any estimate we might give is very likely to be wrong. I'm hoping for October, expecting November, and will demand December delivery, but there's still no guarantee for ANY Kickstarter. I refuse to bullsh*t you all. That being said, we have found that giving estimates leads some to take them as certainties, commitments, or promises, leading to disappointment and other negative emotional responses.

As noted not 3 sentences before, if this uncertainty is not acceptable to you, we fully understand and would like to know, so we can figure out how to prevent disappointment - just send us a message, but know this delay is present for most every kickstarter who needed the capital before production.

As soon as we have more information on timing, we will let you know. Until then, please do not hesitate to reach out to us if you have any concerns. Games on the boat and then games in the port. Those are the BIG updates that will allow us to bring more certainty to timing.

Some light reading on the state of freight

Bonus link 1: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1734230/WHATEVER

Bonus link 2: https://www.marketplace.org/2021/06/29/what-the-beer-game-can-teach-about-supply-chain-challenges

Next steps

  • We're printing and scheduling a container/boat. Production went very well.
  • Before you ask about dates and timelines and all that, please read that update and take into account the contents of this one, in which we have done our best to outline the challenges that we (along with a few dozen other publishers) face in shipping games. You now know the full extent of our situation. 
  • We thank you for your patience, understanding and support throughout this campaign, and believe you us, we want the game to hit the table as soon as humanly as possible.

Questions

If you would like to upgrade or get add-ons, or change your address, please use the same invitation link to Backerkit that you already have.

You can also always use the Backerkit website to request a new link:

https://i-would-kill-hitler.backerkit.com


Links

Manage your address & addons:

https://i-would-kill-hitler.backerkit.com

Note: If you are not sure of your address in the near future, you can request that we reset your survey, and then you can complete it when you are settled.

TL,DR

The world is as f*cked as the big H moustache man was during our campaign. We are better off than other KS projects. October-December games if things go well, but they might not. (BIG thanks to LudiCreations for helping the links and sharing content for the update! We're in the same (figurative boat))

Raffle Winners (Short Update)
over 3 years ago – Thu, Aug 12, 2021 at 11:49:53 PM

Hello everyone!

The raffle stream was alot of fun! Too bad when I turned to the chat to get their advice on how best to save the stream, they were full of deceivers, and the stream is lost to time. Luckily, one backer had the foresight to clip a moment of the stream!

I had TONS of fun, and will find an excuse to stream again, either a raffle, a playthrough or something fun we can all take part in. I appreciate everyone participating! I was going to cap the win % rate chance at 10% (which is really good odds for the cost of the ticket) but we ended up giving away more (including my hat from the stream) so the win chance was more like 15%. We raised over $4000!!

Winners

Due to doxxing concerns, I have remov ed the identifying nature of the winners. You can see the full list via the stream or you can DM me for details/questions!


Clipped stream: https://www.twitch.tv/killmoustachemangame/clip/PhilanthropicDelightfulPigeonOMGScoots-KYQbJdvC8yqScjt4